“Dora moved a bit sharpish for ‘im there – another 5 seconds and he’d had ’is choppers in that ham.” James Herriot – All Creatures Great and Small

I am not one for what I consider the more ostentatious displays of fine culture. Tuxedos, valets, swankiness and opulence do not bring out my best. A weekend of luxury for me centers around a good fireplace, some form of wild water, some good hot soup. 

For Amy though, I wanted better. Something classy. Some place where I could clean up and she could see me move among some real top level culture. Her birthday came and I knew just the place. The Shore Lodge. In a little mountain ski town, on the shores of Payette Lake. 

We parked and approached the log entrance. I drew our suitcase with my right hand, my birthday girl Amy was on my left arm. The valets in their natty hats and ridiculous shoes swarmed us, opening the big, brass-trimmed doors, tripping along backwards before me, reaching for my luggage. I pushed forward past them and they fell away. The second doors opened into the lobby. A quiet fire burned in the massive stone fireplace. The music was soft, the lighting low. More staff moved about in the corners and shadows. I was pleased. This was nice. 

I moved forward with confidence. This might not be my preferred element, but if my woman wanted a night under 4 stars, goodness she was getting it. 

I led her to the long front desk. The desk was chest high and paneled with dark exotic woods. The woman behind the computer asked if we were checking in. “We are,” I said, “Engbretson.” I spoke smoothly, carried myself with poise. The woman had hard lines on her face. She did not look at me. I gave her my credit card. I signed this and that, affirming we would not smoke, have pets, bring in unauthorized individuals. I described our vehicle. She turned and brought 2 drinks in stemmed and delicate goblets. She turned again and brought a tray of some small, scone-like pastries. Each lay quietly on it’s own napkin, in rows on the tray. Now this, I had to admit, was a nice touch. I felt myself softening to the scene. A whole tray of scones for free. Even two at a time, this would last well into the morning.

“Well! Thank you!” I said. I reached for the tray and drew it to me. The woman stepped quickly forward and her hand was on the tray too now, pulling it back. 

“Just one,” she said sharply. 

I let go with a light laugh. “Of course!” I shook my head. So funny that I wasn’t thinking! 

Beside me, Amy had turned away. The woman stood silently. My face burned. I lifted a single scone, just one, and followed my wife into the hallway. Around the corner, Amy collapsed against me.“You tried to take the whole tray! You were going to take them all!” She could hardly walk for her laughter. I chewed silently on the one dry little scone. 

We had a good time at The Shore Lodge. I kept my rustic self to the shadows, away from the big desk and it ended well. Amy said it was a wonderful time and that she loved me.

I don’t really care anyway about those people at the desk and all their little scones.